Transition: Chapter 19 (Sports Night)

Leida: Jill, can you explain the triathlon to our viewers at home who may not be familiar with it? What are the events, and the distances, that sort of thing?

Jillian: Well, Leida, as the name implies, the triathlon is three events rolled into one – just like the pentathlon is five events and the decathlon is ten events.

Leida: And the events in the triathlon are swimming, biking, and running, right?

Jillian: Well, usually – although there are all kinds of variations. I’ve heard of triathlons that have canoeing or skiing or even weight-lifting. But you’re right, the most common combination is swim, bike, and run.

Leida: And let me see if I have the distances right: first you swim two-and-a-half miles, then you hop on your bicycle and ride...

Jillian: Actually, the distances vary from race to race. The triathlon that we had here today was an Ironman. But most triathlons are a lot shorter than that – the Olympic distance is probably the most common right now, it’s a one-point-five-K swim, a forty-K bike, and...

Leida: Whoa, slow down, put that in English for those of us who don’t know what a K is.

Jillian: Sure. That’s about a one-mile swim, about a twenty-five-mile bike ride, and a little over a six-mile run.

Leida: Compared to... how long is the, what did you call it, the Ironman, like we had today?

Jillian: An Ironman is a little less than a two-and-a-half mile swim, a one-hundred-and-twelve-mile bike ride, and a full marathon run, a little over twenty-six miles.

Leida: Wow. Golly. I don’t know about you folks at home, but I get tired just thinking about that. I know I couldn’t even handle an Olympic triathlon, much less an Ironman. Which distance do you like better, Jill?

Jillian: Oh, I don’t even bother to enter anything except an Ironman.

Leida: Not enough of a challenge?

Jillian: No, actually it’s the other way around. There’s no way I could win at a shorter distance. I’m not a very good swimmer, and the Olympic distance doesn’t give me enough of a chance to catch up. And I’m not going to enter a race if I don’t think I can win. I mean, what’s the point?

§ § § § § § § § § §

Leida: What were you thinking about when you were out in front today, Sunshine? Did you think you had a chance to win?

Sunshine: I wasn’t thinking about winning or losing, Mrs. Andersen. I was just...

Leida: Miss Andersen. But please, call me Leida, okay? Mrs. Andersen. I was looking around to see if my mother was here...

Sunshine: Oh, gosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way!

Leida: Oh no, it’s alright, I was just kidding. But please do call me Leida.

Sunshine: Okay, sure. Ummm... now I forgot the question. I’m sorry.

Leida: I was just wondering if you thought that you had a chance to win today, and I believe that you started to say that that you weren’t thinking in those terms...

Sunshine: Yes, that’s right. I don’t believe in competition. Competition is an ego thing, and I’m working on getting rid of my ego. I was just trying to do the best I could and have a good time. Basically, I guess you could say that I was out there to absorb the experience.

Leida: But Sunshine, if you don’t mind my asking, whatever led you to enter the race in the first place? I mean, if all you wanted to do was to have a good time, you could have gone off to run in the woods somewhere by yourself. Am I right?

Sunshine: Well, yes, I guess you’re right. Actually, I didn’t really much want to do it at all. But Nathan wanted me to do it, so I did it. He knows what’s best for me.

Leida: So, I guess the obvious next question is: Who’s Nathan?

Sunshine: He’s my guru. I live in his ashram.

Leida: Well, that certainly clears things up. You mean a real guru? Like one of those swamis?

Sunshine: I don’t know what you mean. What’s a swami?

Leida: You know, the guys with the turbans and the snakes and the flying carpets and the white robes. Sort of like what you’re wearing. Is this Nathan fellow an Indian person? You know, from India?

Sunshine: No. He’s a Jewish person. From New York.

§ § § § § § § § § §

Leida: Jill, how do you feel about what Sunshine said before the commercial – that competition is an ego trip?

Sunshine: Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. Not an ego trip, I didn’t mean... I meant that wanting to win, wanting to be better than somebody else, it’s a manifestation of your ego. And Nathan teaches us that we must rid ourselves of our egos. That’s all I meant.

Jillian: I don’t agree with that at all. I mean, sure, there’s a lot of ego gratification involved in winning, I’m not going to deny that. But a little healthy competition can motivate you to do your best. You never know how good you can do until somebody’s really pushing you. I mean... Sunshine, didn’t you feel anything when we were having our little race today? Don’t you think that you were running faster because you were trying to beat me to the aid station? I flat-out guarantee you that you wouldn’t have been running that fast if I hadn’t been right on your heels.

Sunshine: I... I probably shouldn’t have done that. Or maybe... I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure out what the purpose of that experience was. I think it was to show me that I wasn’t really doing the best that I could do. But the point is that I should be able to do my best without having to compete with someone else. It should be something that comes from within me, I shouldn’t have to depend on external stimulation. I’m still trying to sort it out. But when I tripped over the camera, I think that was to tell me that I shouldn’t have been competing with you. It was a mistake.

Leida: Well, Sunshine, I’m not sure that I understand all of that. You certainly do look at things a lot differently than most people do.

Sunshine: Thank you.

§ § § § § § § § § §

Leida: And here you are – look at monitor two, the one over there, that’s right – it looks like you’re about fifteen, maybe twenty feet from the camera. From this angle, it’s hard to tell who’s ahead. But that’s a remarkable shot. The determination on both your faces is pretty awesome.

Jillian: I think Sunshine may have been ahead of me here. I just barely did manage to pass her right at the end. It’s amazing that these pictures came out at all. The camera hit the ground pretty hard. At least, that’s what it sounded like. I didn’t stick around to find out.

Leida: Weren’t you worried about Sunshine? I mean, she was running pretty fast when she fell. Didn’t you feel like you should stick around and see if she was okay?

Jillian: Leida, I was in the middle of a race. Accidents happen all the time. Not so much on the run leg, but on the bike leg people wipe out all over the place, you can’t stop every time somebody takes a spill. They’ve got medical people to take care of things like that. And it couldn’t have picked a better spot to happen, right there at the aid station and all...

Leida: What if you hadn’t been at an aid station? What if you had been out in the middle of nowhere? Would you have stopped to help her?

Jillian: That question doesn’t make any sense. I mean, on the run, you’re never more than half a mile from an aid station. But the point is that this is a race; the reason that we’re all out there busting our butts is to try to win, not to be good Samaritans.

Leida: Sunshine, what about you? If it had been Jill who had tripped, would you have stopped to help her?

Sunshine: Oh, of course. I mean, it’s only a race. People are more important than races. But I embrace the fact that other people don’t feel that way.

Leida: But how do you feel about Jill not stopping to help you?

Sunshine: I... Leida, I feel like you’re trying to get me to say something bad about Jill. But there really wasn’t any reason for her to stop. I wasn’t really even hurt, or anything like that.

Leida: Don’t be silly, why would I want you to say something bad about Jill?

Jillian: Liven up the show a little? Goose up your ratings?

§ § § § § § § § § §

Leida: Well, tell us, Sunshine – are you going to enter any triathlons in the future?

Sunshine: I don’t know. I hope not. I’ll have to talk it over with Nathan.

Jillian: Sunshine, I... listen, you’ve got a lot of potential – I mean, it was pretty gutsy what you did out there today, especially for your first race. If you got yourself a decent coach, you could really be something special. I mean it. You need to dump this Nathan dude and get somebody who knows what he’s doing.

Sunshine: Jill, you don’t understand. I guess there’s no way you really could understand. You’re talking about triathlons, and I’m talking about... well, I’m talking about my life. Nathan teaches us that it doesn’t matter whether we win or lose, that life isn’t some kind of contest. We’re all just people. We all just have to do the best that we can. We’re all in it together.

Jillian: Sunshine, no offense, but that’s a load of... that’s nonsense. Anybody who tells you that winning doesn’t matter isn’t helping you. I mean, this “do your best” shit may be okay for...

Leida: Jill, please, we’re on live!

Jillian: Sorry. But I feel real strongly about this. The way you approach the triathlon – any race, really, any competition, not just the triathlon – the way you approach it says a lot about the way you approach life. Either you’re a winner or you’re a loser. That’s the way it is in sports. And that’s the way it is in everything else, too. But going around saying that you’ve done your best so it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose is just... well, it’s just a cop-out. You always have to try to do better. That’s what life is all about. Not everybody can win, but everybody can at least try to win. I think... I remember Daddy telling me that from the time I was like four years old, as long as I can remember, he said that if you’re not going to play to win, you shouldn’t be playing at all. And I believe that, I believe it with all my heart.

Leida: Well, then, I guess that’s why it’s so frustrating for you when you run into problems out there that get in the way of you doing your best, isn’t that right?

Jillian: Well, you always run into problems. But that’s no excuse for giving up.

Leida: But what happens if the course is marked so badly that you keep getting lost? Or what if the volunteers are trained so poorly that they keep getting in your way?

Jillian: That doesn’t happen very often, Leida. I guess you heard about some of the problems I had today. And sure, it’s better when everything runs smoothly. But like we say in Texas, you play the hand you’re dealt.

Leida: But what do you think about a Race Director who doesn’t know what she’s doing? What would you call that kind of person?

Jillian: Leida, you’ve got to... Let me put it this way. Being an RD is a tough job. Especially in an Ironman. You’ve got to cover hundreds of miles, and all of those volunteers, and the Race Marshals, the aid stations, refreshments... And then all of the triathletes. And all of the spectators, maybe thousands of them. You can’t expect everything to be perfect every time.

Leida: Jill, I have to tell you, I’m surprised that you’re so... forgiving. If some Race Director did a sloppy job and messed me up, I’d probably have to say that she was a moron.

Jillian: I... I can’t believe you said that.

Leida: Actually, you’re the one who said it. Let’s take a look.

[The camera appears to be handheld, the video jiggles and bounces, the sound is muffled and uneven. The perspective is from the side, and at somewhat of a distance, which shrinks as the video progresses. As the camera approaches, Jillian’s voice becomes more distinct. By the time she launches into a tirade about the marking of the bike course, every word she says is perfectly understandable.]

Jillian: The race is hard enough all by itself, we shouldn’t have to worry about getting lost, you know what I mean? Whoever set up the bike course is a [bleep]ing moron!

Kennedy: Jillian!

Jillian: I’m sorry, Uncle Stan. But whoever is in charge of this fiasco is an incompetent... moron. Somebody should take him out and shoot him, put him out of his misery.

Leida: Wow. “Take him out and shoot him” – is that what you said? But as it turns out, it wasn’t a him, it was a her. And in fact, there she is. Can we zoom in on her? She’s the woman standing off to the side, the tall lady who looks really steamed, you see her?

Jillian: Fuck you.